Now. Tonight. I want to run away. I want to sell everything I own, and go as far as I can from this moment. From this time. I know that is melodramatic, but that is how I am feeling right now.
It isn’t even that the everyday realities are so painful. Nor that they are unbearable in any way, it is just that the sameness wears on me. That the evenness is suffocating. I want to go to South America and to Egypt. I want to live in France for a year. How many years do I have left to live on this planet anyway? No one knows. I just want to live as if I am alive. That is what I really want.
You really know how to express your feelings into words.